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A lot of people have been asking me for potty training advice now that Malcolm is trained, and I honestly have none. I’m not a wizard. And for the proof, this photo just popped up in my memories from last year. I started working with Malcolm ONE YEAR AGO, and he is just now fully potty trained. It took a whole year! So give yourself (and your littles) some time and space and grace!

Here’s a list of things I came up with that I DID do that seemed to work for us:

• No pull-ups! Naked when possible, or just underwear. Pull-ups are great for when you’re going to be out and about for a long time AFTER they’re already trained if you’re worried about an accident, but it’s just a pull-on diaper and Malcolm was always so comfortable still going poop/pee in his pull-ups. So, for training: abandon them. For after training: they’re great for long naps, night time, and full days of errands.

• We had two different potties and Malcolm DOES have a preference and uses them both. This only applies for boys. We used a teeny urinal that hangs on the wall, and then just a tiny potty seat. Sometimes the kid likes to stand to pee. I wouldn’t understand. 🤷🏼‍♀️

• Privacy!!! Game. Changer. It’s so hard as a parent to go into the bathroom, pull your 2 year old’s pants down, and then walk out of the room completely and pull the door closed until it CLICKS (yes, he waited for the click and wouldn’t let me peek!) Then I have to stand outside of the door for sometimes a long time and trust that he’s not unrolling all the toilet paper or smearing poop on the walls (he never did) and he knocks on the door when he’s finished and I can come him to pull up his pants, maybe wipe a butt, and help with thorough hand washing. The fully closed door was everything!

• Fun incentives. I didn’t love the idea of food/treat/candy items as a reward. Instead, we had rows of the things most important to us: POOP ON THE POTTY (he started out by only peeing and making himself constipated just so that he wouldn’t have to poop on the potty) & after that: STAYING DRY ALL DAY! Our chart required him to do each of these things 5 or 6 times before being rewarded, which was nice for consistency. At the end of the row, he received a “big ticket” toy that he had been wanting that he might have only otherwise received at his birthday or Christmas.

• Real adult explanation. You might be thinking: Like my 2 year old is going to understand?! Yes. They do. Kids have FOMO. They don’t want to stop playing or leave what they’re doing to go to the bathroom and do the whole song and dance. But you know what takes longer? Getting down on the floor or lifting your huge toddler up to a changing station that’s just not meant for them anymore to change a diaper. And if it’s poop? How many wipes is it gonna take? Do we have to change clothes? Am I gonna have to fight them to stop wiggling? Or, if you’re potty training and using underwear and they poop in those?! Now we have to take a shower too. So I explained it to Malcolm EXACTLY like that: “C’mon. Let’s go. Do you want to run upstairs and go potty and come right back down and keep playing with this? Or do you want me to have to bring you to the changing table, clean you up, maybe take a shower? We’ll have to play with these toys tomorrow then because that takes SO LONG!”  He just started making the right choice himself. And he felt empowered when doing so.

• Bonus idea: Make things fun. Malcolm loves washing his hands, until he poops. Then he’s like NOPE don’t wanna do that. Then one day he told me he would wash he hands if he had green soap to turn into Hulk. Okay, buddy. You got it.

All I can say is: GOOD LUCK & WHATEVER/HOWEVER YOU ARE DOING IT, YOU’RE DOING A GREAT JOB! Potty training is a long and hard road, and once it’s a complete success, it still kinda sucks. Welcome to a world of needing to find a bathroom everywhere you go. 😉 Drop your favorite potty training tips in the comments if you have anything additional that you swear by!